Stand-up Comedy Quotes
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Monday, August 9, 2010
Dick Gregory - "I am really enjoying the new Martin Luther King Jr stamp - just....." Quote
"I am really enjoying the new Martin Luther King Jr stamp - just think about all those white bigots, licking the backside of a black man."
Dick Gregory - "And we love to dance, especially that....." Quote
"And we love to dance, especially that new one called the Civil War Twist. The Northern part of you stands still while the Southern part tries to secede."
Howie Mandel - "I was totally involved in Bobby's World from the....." Quote
"I was totally involved in Bobby's World from the time we started the idea to sitting with the artists on how he would look, to the script meetings, the music, the lyrics, the songs."
Howie Mandel - "Everything runs its course. We had told a....." Quote
"Everything runs its course. We had told a lot of stories that happened in our life. My kid was getting older, and we were running out of stories to tell."
Drew Carey - "Even when people are rich and successful on TV shows, there's....." Quote
"Even when people are rich and successful on TV shows, there's always some trouble - you have to poke holes in them, throw them out of a job, put a pie in the face."
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Drew Carey - ""As far as your personal goals are and what you actually want to....." Quote
"As far as your personal goals are and what you actually want to do with your life, it should never have to do with the government. You should never depend on the government for your retirement, your financial security, for anything."
David Cross - "As for Tenacious D, of course it could work as a....." Quote
"As for Tenacious D, of course it could work as a full length movie; all it requires is a great writer and great director with an ability to think outside of conventional film comedy."
Andrew Dice Clay - “There was a coolness about him,....."
“There was a coolness about him, ... He used to wear these sunglasses and these shirts that had pictures of cigars on them. He was the Tony Soprano of Mexicans.”
Andrew Dice Clay - “I don't drink to get happy or to forget the....." Quote
“I don't drink to get happy or to forget the pain. I drink to stop the voices in my head. Do you know what's so bad about them, they stutter. Ddddddave... Kkkkkkikikill your papapapapaparents!!”
Joey Bishop - "Today you can go to a gas station and find the....." Quote
"Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the toilets locked. They must think toilet paper is worth more than money."
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