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Monday, August 9, 2010

Dick Gregory - "I am really enjoying the new Martin Luther King Jr stamp - just....." Quote

"I am really enjoying the new Martin Luther King Jr stamp - just think about all those white bigots, licking the backside of a black man."

Dick Gregory - "Hell hath no fury like a liberal scorned. " Quote

Dick Gregory - "And we love to dance, especially that....." Quote

"And we love to dance, especially that new one called the Civil War Twist. The Northern part of you stands still while the Southern part tries to secede."

Howie Mandel - "I was totally involved in Bobby's World from the....." Quote

"I was totally involved in Bobby's World from the time we started the idea to sitting with the artists on how he would look, to the script meetings, the music, the lyrics, the songs."

Howie Mandel - "I am beloved by millions. " Quote

Howie Mandel - "Everything runs its course. We had told a....." Quote

"Everything runs its course. We had told a lot of stories that happened in our life. My kid was getting older, and we were running out of stories to tell."

Norm MacDonald - "I'm not gay, so I don't know much about Broadway musicals. " Quote

Norm MacDonald - "I would love to stay at SNL forever. But you can't stay in the same place. People think you're a loser. " Quote

Drew Carey - "Everybody in Hollywood loves symbolic gestures. " Quote

Drew Carey - "Even when people are rich and successful on TV shows, there's....." Quote

"Even when people are rich and successful on TV shows, there's always some trouble - you have to poke holes in them, throw them out of a job, put a pie in the face."

Drew Carey - "But I don't want to lose touch with things like eating in Bob's Big Boy. " Quote

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Drew Carey - ""As far as your personal goals are and what you actually want to....." Quote

"As far as your personal goals are and what you actually want to do with your life, it should never have to do with the government. You should never depend on the government for your retirement, your financial security, for anything."

David Cross - "I also try to think of ways to articulate the joke more economically. " Quote

David Cross - "Besides if people really want to support the troops they would vote democrat. " Quote

David Cross - "As for Tenacious D, of course it could work as a....." Quote

"As for Tenacious D, of course it could work as a full length movie; all it requires is a great writer and great director with an ability to think outside of conventional film comedy."

Jay Mohr - "I never minded George Steinbrenner spending obscene amounts of money to put the best product on the field. " Quote

Jay Mohr - "I hate golf. I do not understand how anyone can enjoy it, much less love it. " Quote

Jay Mohr - "Fantasy football is not only a good thing, but a great thing. " Quote

Paula Poundstone - "I was born in Alabama, but I only lived there for a month before I'd done everything there was to do. " Quote

Paula Poundstone - "I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name. " Quote

Paula Poundstone - "Adults are always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because they are looking for ideas. " Quote

Kevin James - "From there, I tried out for a community theatre play, joined an improv group... it all started opening up. " Quote

Andrew Dice Clay - “Eleanor and I were fighting about her not knowing how to cook, and Freddy was sitting there watching us go at it,” Quote

Andrew Dice Clay - “There was a coolness about him,....."

“There was a coolness about him, ... He used to wear these sunglasses and these shirts that had pictures of cigars on them. He was the Tony Soprano of Mexicans.”

Andrew Dice Clay - “I don't drink to get happy or to forget the....." Quote

“I don't drink to get happy or to forget the pain. I drink to stop the voices in my head. Do you know what's so bad about them, they stutter. Ddddddave... Kkkkkkikikill your papapapapaparents!!”

Joey Bishop - "Today you can go to a gas station and find the....." Quote

"Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the toilets locked. They must think toilet paper is worth more than money."

George Carlin - "One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you’re too tired." Quote

George Carlin - "I’ve never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade." Quote

George Carlin - "God bless the homicidal maniacs. They make life worthwhile." Quote