Rodney Dangerfield - " I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap." Quote

Rodney Dangerfield - "I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. " Quote

Rodney Dangerfield - "I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me. " Quote

Rodney Dangerfield - "I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me. " Quote

Rodney Dangerfield - "I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day ....." Quote

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

Rodney Dangerfield - "I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest." Quote

Rodney Dangerfield - "I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people." Quote

Rodney Dangerfield - "I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it. " Quote

Rodney Dangerfield - "I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio. " Quote

Rodney Dangerfield - " I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." Quote

I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.

Rodney Dangerfield - "At twenty a man is full of fight and......." Quote

At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't

Rodney Dangerfield - " Acting deals with very delicate......." Quote

Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.

Rodney Dangerfield - "A girl phoned me the other day and said... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home." Quote

"What a childhood I had. My mother never breast-fed me. She said she liked me as a friend." - Rodney Dangerfield Quote

"I tell ya, my wife likes to talk during sex. Last night, she called me from a motel." - Rodney Dangerfield Quote

"Group sex? Are you kidding? I had group sex - My wife screwed me in front of the jury." - Rodney Dangerfield Quote